The Atheist News Podcast

Today I watched a show called Breakthrough With Rod Parsley, who, if you didn’t know, is John Oregano’s little brother.  He looks and sounds like a nice good ol’ boy from Kentucky - apparently they have a saying down there, “don’t straddle the fence, especially if it’s barbed wire.”  He once wrote a book called Silent No More which was a, “shot over the bow of humanistic non-believers,” which raises the question: who the hell is this guy?

So, Rod cuts us to a clip from a 2005 sermon entitled No More Parades, where he is talking about not just drawing a line in the sand but invading the other side.  Now, I really don’t understand why all these pastors want to take what Jesus said, and flip it on its side.  You see Jesus DREW and line in the sand and then said, “he who has not sinned, throw the first stone,” he didn’t fucking invade anything.

Parsley then goes on to talk about John Harper.  Harper was (allegedly) a pastor who was on the Titanic, how this story ties into not having parades, I don’t know.  But this horse’s ass of a man goes into this great description with, I shit you not, tears.  He talks about how John Harper started preaching as the ship was sinking, he was the guy who caught Jack and Rose screwing in the cars, remember?  Anyway, Harper was preaching and there was an extra spot on a life boat and he turned it down because there were other people on the other side of the boat that hadn’t heard the “Word of Christ.”  He didn’t turn the spot down to physically give it to the people who need actual saving, nope, he turned it down so he could yell at them about pretend saving.  Needless to say, John Harper dies in the end of the (ok, alright, it was touching) story; but this asshole Hot Rod Parsley was crying and yelling and doing this whole song and dance about Harper being possessed by the spirit of the lord (hypothermia is another option, oddly not mentioned by Parsley).

The program brought us back to Hot Rod outside, and as he’s babbling about something he starts to prove to everyone that he is a vain, cocky, jackoff when he says, “but I can’t start preachin’ now there’s a road out there and all the cars will slow down just to hear me preach.”  DICK HEAD!  First it’s No More Parades, then it’s cars slowing down to hear him talk?  I thought that was the basis of a parade.  This guy is like on of those car salesmen that pisses you off to no end and the next clip get under my skin like nobody’s business:  Parsley is all about numbers and money, which is obvious since he is talking about how we must pack all the churches with people.  He goes into an elaborate rant about opening up new churches, how every time he passes an open lot he prays that Jesus will send a church so the homosexuals of the neighborhood can repent (shit you not).  Leave it to the superchurch pastor to solve all our problems, if our only problems are that our hair stylist was a total bitch that last time and we really want him to meet Jesus so he won’t work there anymore.

But wait, there’s more!  If you give TBN a, “gift,” of $79 you can get the 8 disk set of Hot Rod’s, “best sermons.”  To be honest I couldn’t care less what you believe as long as you don’t contradict yourself, demean others, or force your ideologies on me.  But when people like Hot Rod show up and say shit like this, it feels like they are almost purposefully trying to piss me off.  It’s not right to make a living off of people looking for a faith, it goes against pretty much the whole bible.  Hopefully, someday I will be able to run out of material for this site, but with people like this struttin’ their shit everyday I don’t think it will happen anytime soon.