I like apocalypse movies just as much as the next guy, but this one was far better than any other I have seen in quite a while. Left behind, the end all of Kirk Cameron christian apocalypse movies, I laughed! I cried! It was better than Cats! And yes the Russians are the bad guys, why not they were the bad guys in all other christian movies, plus all older christian guys love Red Dawn. Apparently Jesus was against communism, he didn’t much care for the whole people living equally thing, and he hates the color red.
So Kirk Cameron is playing a guy named Buck Something, we will just call him Buck Futt. Before I get started I just want to point out that no matter how many times Buck Futt gets injured below the waist they manage to patch him up with out taking hit pants off, by I shit you not, stitching him up through the hole in the knee of his pants he got when he was standing next to a car bomb.
So buck Futt is a reporter, and some guy in the middle east makes some grow all drug thing that makes shit grow in the desert. So he is covering the story in Isreal and there is some giant fucking attack, like 100,000 planes, seriously there are more planes in the movie than there are on the entire planet (including scrap yards, museums and the ones on the bottom of the ocean). Then somehow he gets dragged into this “top secret” underground base and then all the planes blow up very dramatically, apparently God found out how shitty the special effects were and decided to unleash some wrath onto the cgi set.
So then Buck Futt is on a plane heading back to the us, he didn’t get hurt, hes fucking Kirk Cameron, and holy shit half the people on the plane dissappear! (I should mention that this movie jumps around a lot, making it nearly impossible to follow). Apparently the Rapture (a mythical mass abduction discribed in Revolations) happens on the plane. At this point Buck is not a Jesus freak, I can just imagine him doing an interview about the movie saying something about how it was really hard from him to play a non-christian on screen, overall being a pretentious prick.
So he gets home and guess what a russian sniper is following him and his buddies around (all his buddies that didn’t get “left behind”). There is a confusing mass of informants he uses and blah blah blah, they all get killed, some shot, and some in car bombs, which is how he get injured and subsiquently healed through a hole in the knee of his pants, It was just to riscay to take his pants off on screen, he didn’t want to put naughty thoughts into any little girls heads.
So then throught a Buck Futt in the story line, Buck Futt gets to go hang out with the “anti-christ” whose name is Nicholai Carpathia, Like I said earlier, the russians are bad bad people. The movie ends quite soon after when Nicolai shoots some world leaders in the head, yeah he has some mind controll shit going on too. I really wish that Tbn was having a marathon and showed the other movies in the series because I really want to keep drinking and yelling at the television into the wee hours of the moring. But alas I have to save my 40ozers of PBR until next sunday when they continue to Buck Futt public access television.
Ps… If any of you know any religious movies I should watch and then make fun of, let me know I am open to anything I can find in a video store or on the internet…
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Spelling, grammar, 4/10. V. poor. See me.
Although ‘Buck Futt’ was rather good.
Check out Fireproof another Cameron Classic, he goes from skeptic to believer in 3 bad acts.
anything with Stephen Baldwin in it. I think he’s in a weird Christian movie called “Mark of the Beast.” He also made a documentary about extreme Christian skateboarders. And don’t forget to watch the rest of the Left Behind trilogy.