Episode 025: A prayer to Elmer, patron saint of lost socks

Posted by moJoe On March - 12 - 2010

If someone wants to bother trying to explain the Holy Tri-Force to me–and they manage to convince me that three things can be three things and also be one thing at the same time–I’ll stop calling Catholics polytheists; until then they are out of luck. The saints and angels business doesn’t do much for your cause, I might add.

Polytheists or no, they are still jerks. Another thing that needs to be explained to me is what the hell orphans and spousally-abused women have to do with giving health care to the married partners of gay people. Or how giving health care to the married partners of gay people could possibly crack the $22 million dollar piggy bank that the District of Columbia gave the church. Just how many openly gay people is the Catholic Church employing these days? I wonder if they hire atheists, I could use some health care.

Speaking of Texas (like that segue?): they are plagued by a brand new tidal wave of stupid. If you are an atheist / skeptic / normal person and live anywhere near Amarillo, you should stake out the local army surplus store and ambush these goons with an impromptu theatrical performance of “Tear Me Down” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Speaking of stupid goons (woah, this one actually made sense): if you live in Virginia, keep your eyes peeled for a van load of Christians handing out fliers blaming women for being raped. Yay ChrIslam.

Yet another anti-gay politician got busted courting mansex. I think Iago said it best.

I know it’s not particularly “atheist news” but you get two–not one–but TWO weeks of Jenny McCarthy News. Why? Because I am a sadist. But the biggest news of all is that apparently Richard likes his ladies a bit on the grotesque side. Who knew?

Last but not least, we did record an ATHEIST NEWS SPECIAL REPORT</reverb> interview with Michael Middlebrooks, the man that the governor of Florida allegedly spazzed out on for being an atheist. I am editing it now and it should be posted within a day or so.

The Governor was unavailable for comment.

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4 Responses to “Episode 025: A prayer to Elmer, patron saint of lost socks”

  1. David says:

    Just a quick clarification on Catholic belief about saints. Canonization is the process of recognizing a deceased person as a saint, not turning them into one. The are supposedly already a saint, but the church is then officially allowed to recognize them as such. Still makes no fucking sense, and opens up a new set of issues, but that’s what’s in the catechism.

  2. Ben says:

    The “Repent Amarillo” website is fantastic. It has that neat little map that tells me where all the great stuff I want to see in Amarillo is! Porn shops, strip clubs, “occult witchcraft”… it’s all in one easy-to-find-and-navigate location! Great work, “Serpents of Amarillo”! Errr….

  3. I bookmarked this site a while ago because of the informative content and I have never been disappointed. Continue the quality work.

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