The Atheist News Podcast

It’s just like a movie, but much more violent, a hell of a lot shorter, and with crumby metal music playing.  What is it?  You guessed it - heavy metal Christian music videos!  Nothing says, “I love Jesus and I genuinely care about the well being of other people,” like death metal and disturbing images of murder and mutilated animals (you know basically everything the Christian Church stands for).  But I do have to give the bands props for finding a new way to, “praise the Lord,” by getting a bunch of crazed teens to punch each other in a mosh pit.

The first band up is called The Reaping.  Everyone in the band is thrashing around playing their music, but in-between the fantastic shots of the would-be-singer, “singing,” there are disturbing images of a decapitated pig.  Eventually, after more headbanging, it is evident that there is some sort of butchering going on for a feast; so the pig head was for dinner, it’s ok!  Then the man at the head of a table keels over and dies.  Oh no it’s a poising!  Just like the twelve apostles did to the Pharisees right?  Did I miss something here?  Why does a, “Christian,” music video have someone being poisoned in it?  Oh, sorry, I forgot that Jesus poisoned people all the time, that’s what the Sermon on the Mount was all about, right?

I’ve never been a big fan of music videos; short, plotless, confusing films have never really been my bag, but i have to say the next video intrigued me.  It’s by a rather popular band called Norma Jean.  The video isn’t necessarily violent but has a what-the-fuck-is-going-on feel to it.  I can just see the producer pitching the idea to the band: “Ok, so there is this underground bunker, right?  Yeah and there are two really skinny boys riding stationary bikes that are powering machines and there is a screen on the back wall showing weird plants and animals.  Rad, right?”  There are some mild torture scenes where they inject the kids with hypodermic needles and what-not, but nothing too bad.  Although, one has to wonder what an underground testing facility would have to do with Jesus, maybe Nike was in charge of this video?

The church I grew up in used to brag about how they, “loved everyone,” and that violence is not the answer, yada, yada, yada; everyone has heard this schpeil.  I understand that in order to convert all the young guns they need to be hip-for-Christ, but I thought most of the time the Church tried to hide all the horrible violent acts they committed in the past.  The really ironic thing is that one of the commercials in between videos is about being a, “peaceful warrior.”  So why the violence?  Why decapitated animals and tortured kids on bikes?  Do these videos have anything to do with religion at all?  I turned off the television confused at the meaning behind the videos.  So if I am missing something here, if there are biblical references that I am missing out on, please let me know, let me in on the secret.

Recently I had the distinct pleasure of viewing a skateboarding documentary on television.  The channel was “JCTV,” and the documentary was called “D.O.P.E.”  At first I was turned off to the whole concept simply because it was on the cool young adult version of TBN, but as I forced my self to watch the whole thing I was pleasantly surprised by the first hour and the second hour wasn’t half bad.

The film follows young professional skateboarders in the 70’s and 80’s when, “sidewalk surfing,” morphed into the sport I know and love today.  Blah, blah, blah, all the skaters spiral into a heavy drug addiction - and it all started when they took that puff of weed (if only they hadn’t inhaled, they could have became governor of California).  Their lives take a one-eighty, they start hitting harder and harder drugs like meth and coke; I really shouldn’t have to explain this part, all anti-drug documentaries have the same middle section where they interview the mother and father and they say something like, “I couldn’t believe my son/daughter  was taking __________(insert drug of choice here), I had no idea until it was to late.”  Then the friend is interviewed and he says something along the lines of, “yeah I saw him taking _________(drug) and I told him to stop but he wouldn’t.  The _________ had such a strong hold on him by that point…..”  But instead of blaming it on the person’s addictive personality and the mental bond said person’s brain made between the drug and happiness, the narrator decides that it is all Satan’s fault for giving these poor kids a crack pipe.  Now the movie was all fine and dandy until this point. But at that pivotal moment I realized why it was showing on “JCTV”.

I assume everyone has been preached to at one point in their lives, if not I salute you for avoiding the mega-church scare tactics I preached for the majority of my young life.

Getting back to D.O.P.E… By this point in the film Satan had a grip on all the young skateboarders through drugs and, by golly, he was not going to let go without a miracle.  But he only saved a couple guys.  Some of them had to hit rock bottom like normal people and go to rehab and relapse and go back to rehab, I think a couple of the non-influental characters actually died, but God forbid the director focus on them - if Jesus didn’t save them, they’re not important.

So God miraculously saves these, “survivors,” from their addictions, and replaces that empty hole with another addiction: preaching in prisons, or doing crummy documentaries.  But don’t mind that they all get together at the end for a friendly BBQ to reminisce about that one time they were famous and had money, and women, and really really good crack.